Gunner Pitkin

What happened to Gunner Pitkin behind enemy lines?... Gunner Pitkin found himself stranded behind enemy lines. He hid in a barn. There was a cow in the barn. It was an enemy cow. Back in the field tent, Gunner Pitkin had had dinned into his head, by the captain, where his duty lay. It was an ... Read More...

Sean Penn’s Subtle Brume

Sean Penn's Rolling Stone 'interview' with drugs baron El Chapo contains some surprising details, finds Brit... Many Dabbler readers will be aware that there was a bit of a hoo-hah the other week about actor Sean Penn’s clandestine interview with fugitive Mexican drug baron and multiple murderer Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman. Fewer will ... Read More...

Leper Messiah

Last week, Frank posted a birthday homage to David Bowie. This week, alas, a second homage has become necessary. This one includes several references to another titanic figure of modern music. Stay well, John Lydon, stay well. There is a fictional character named, somewhat foolishly, “Ziggy Stardust”, the creation of a ... Read More...

Bewlay the Landgrave

To mark David Bowie's 69th birthday, a tale of gravy... Over forty years ago, David Bowie demanded “Lay me place and bake me pie!”, not unreasonably in the circumstances, as he added, “I’m starving for me gravy!” We have all, I think, been there, as they say nowadays. I have certainly ... Read More...

A Horse With No Name

A true story, from the desert... I was riding through the desert on a horse with no name. This was asking for trouble, and sure enough, after passing plants and birds and rocks and things and sand and hills and rings we arrived at a Horse Registration Station. A cowpoke in ... Read More...

A Very Amerrycan Christmas

Rita gives Christmas in America both barrels... Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land Fear and loathing were stalking, “Merry Christmas” was banned By those secular fiends the Politically Correct, They hate America, what do you expect? Assault weapons were stowed by the chimney with care Stockings stuffed with ammunition to spare, The children ... Read More...

Red Hot Riding Hood

They don't make kids' cartoons like this any more... While researching a piece on meanings and adaptations of well-known fairytales, I found this 1943 MGM cartoon directed by Tex Avery, the existence of which has lurked in the back of my mind for a while, even though my conscious mind could ... Read More...

The Petula Clark Minefield

The Petula Clark trilogy concludes in thrilling fashion... Just as Jason Bourne has an identity, a supremacy, and an ultimatum, so Petula Clark has files, a project – and a minefield. The Petula Clark minefield was the happy outcome of my determination, with the Petula Clark project, to put to good ... Read More...

The Petula Clark Project

Our hero comes under questioning for his Petula Clark files. Fortunately he has a plan, of sorts... For more years than I could count, my Petula Clark files had lain undisturbed in a remote secure storage facility guarded by wolves. It would be a platitude to say that the files were ... Read More...