Dear Bonkers Maisie

A musical treat for you today, as The Dabbler presents Dear Bonkers Maisie, music by OutaSpaceman, lyrics by Frank Key... I have long believed that what the world lacks is a lovely romantic song about lead poisoning, so in the end I had to write one myself. Dear Bonkers Maisie, thou art ... Read More...

Whither Art?

This week, Frank is unafraid to confront the most fundamental questions related to the human condition... Whither art? It’s a question I often ask myself, usually when tucking into a plate of smokers’ poptarts or other breakfast-based snack food. I like to get art out of the way early on in the day, ... Read More...

The Tale of Flopsy, Mopsy and Satan

Strange to think that an otherwise ordinary wet afternoon in March could have witnessed the most decisive event in human history... Once upon a time there were three little bunny rabbits. Their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, and Satan. Flopsy and Mopsy were completely normal bunny rabbits, but Satan, though to all ... Read More...

Who was the Eighth Dwarf?

  Just who was the mysterious 'Eighth Dwarf'? Frank attempts to shed some light on this much-discussed question... Over the years, there has been a great deal of discussion about the exact identity of the so-called “fifth Beatle”, as there has been regarding which pinniped deserves the title “the seventh seal”. Much ... Read More...

In the Newty Field

Frank considers the nebulous boundaries between childhood dreams and memories... One of the most memorable incidents in my childhood took place in the Newty Field. If I am to be wholly accurate, I would have to amend that to say it took place within my head. It was a dream, but ... Read More...

Songs My Mother Taught Me

Today, a classic from the Frank Key oeuvre.  For more such uncategorisable fictive brilliance, you should buy the Dabbler Editions ebook By Aerostat to Hooting Yard: A Frank Key Reader... My mother had a tin ear and a voice like a corncrake. In spite of these shortcomings, she saw it as her maternal ... Read More...

Letting Off Steam

All you need is rage, says Frank, who has discovered that ill-tempered ranting is the secret to a long and happy life... In the pub one evening, many many years ago, I delivered myself of a magnificently intemperate tirade of loathing about … oh, who knows what?, someone or something that had ... Read More...