The time has surely come to give our schools much sillier names, argues Frank passionately... According to a report in the Guardian the other day, the following are the names of certain schools in South Africa. Official names, note, not nicknames: Thighs of a Virgin, At the Buttocks, Prison, Stab Him, His ... Read More...
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Brit's claim to be 'on nodding terms with most of the monkeys' at Bristol Zoo provides Frank with a Proustian moment of recollection... For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Often, it was still light as I shut my bedroom door and drew the curtains and buried ... Read More...
What the scientists won't tell you is that a far more scientifically-important Boson than Higgs's has already been discovered. Frank explains, in layman's terms.. Frankly, I am at a loss to understand all this pother about the Higgs boson. Don't get me wrong, I am not in the least perplexed by ... Read More...
The Dabbler is proud to draw your attention to a prize, which, for the avoidance of doubt, is not an invention of Mr Frank Key. The shortlist for The Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title of the Year has been announced. It contains seven titles "one more than the traditional ... Read More...
In this sad week for showbiz, Frank announces the launch of an exciting new venture... Though it is unseemly to rejoice at someone's death, I must admit that I beamed with glee when I heard the news that Sir Jimmy Savile had shuffled off this mortal coil. For shuffling off alongside ... Read More...
The Dabbler is pleased to bring you your Dabblescope for the month of March. The Dabblescope is broadly akin to a standard horoscope, with the telling difference that we use the so-called Blodgett System of half a dozen “astral nodes” rather than the twelve signs of that boring old zodiac. ... Read More...
I am currently hard at work on a forthcoming blockbuster entitled The Hooting Yard Bumper Anthology of Anecdotes ‘n’ Apocrypha Regarding Breakfast, Arranged Alphabetically. Thus far I have chosen one piece for inclusion, but I am in a bit of a quandary whether to file it under D for De ... Read More...
Are you sitting comfortably? Snuggle down by the fire with a mince pie and a glass of warm grog, as Frank Key brings you a festive tale for Christmas Eve... Good King Wenceslas, The Imposture Of “Hearken ye, stooped mendicant at my gate! I am Good King Wenceslas, and I am looking ... Read More...
Monday marks the forty-seventh anniversary of the assassination of JFK, so here is a craft project to keep you occupied over the weekend. Hello readers! I am going to show you how to make a lovely scale model of Dealey Plaza, the site in Dallas, Texas, of the Kennedy assassination on ... Read More...
Remember, remember, the fifth of November, gunpowder, treason and plot. Remember, too, the distressed pig, saved by Special Agent Blot. The distressed pig was in a leaking rowing-boat adrift in Tantarabim Lake. Agent Blot swam out to it and fed it with nutritious cake. As the pig grew becalmed Agent Blot took ... Read More...
