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A musical treat for you today, as The Dabbler presents Dear Bonkers Maisie, music by OutaSpaceman, lyrics by Frank Key…

I have long believed that what the world lacks is a lovely romantic song about lead poisoning, so in the end I had to write one myself.

Dear Bonkers Maisie, thou art so fair.
Blind beetles scuttle through your hair,
That unwashed tangle atop your head
Wherein’s your brain, poisoned by lead.

You breathed in oh so many fumes
And now the gleam of madness looms
Behind your eyes, or rather eye,
As you muck out the filthy pig sty.

‘Twas a pig took out the eye that’s missing
When we were in the pig sty kissing
An idyll I shall ne’er forget.
The day was windy, cold, and wet.

But all days are, in this rustic hell.
Oh Bonkers Maisie, my countryside belle!
They locked you up in the potting shed.
Poisoned by lead, poisoned by lead.

These emotionally-wrenching words have been set to music and performed by the estimable OutaSpaceman. Listen, sing along, and weep.