It has inspired countless cheesy posters and a few alarming records. But, finds Nige, the poem Desiderata is worth a second look…
Born on this day in 1872 was the American writer and attorney Max Ehrmann, one of those cases – like Joseph Blanco White – of a writer remembered for just one work. Or rather, in Ehrmann’s case, forgotten, for the one work is usually described as having been ‘found in Old St Paul’s Church, Baltimore’ and dating back to the church’s foundation in 1692.
Yes, it’s the notorious Desiderata, as featured on countless posters, voiced by one Les Crane in a cringe-makingly cheesy spoken word recording that was a big hit in 1972 [above] – and indeed recited by Leonard Nimoy in his legendary album Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr Spock’s Music from Outer Space [below]. It was only after all this had happened that authorship of Desiderata was finally asserted and the family of the long dead Max Ehrmann received some royalties.
How had the confusion come about? Simply because Desiderata had been published in an anthology compiled in 1959 by the rector of St Paul’s, Baltimore – an anthology that made much of the date of the church’s foundation, 1692. Then, in 1965, Desiderata had been found by the bedside of Adlai Stevenson after his death – and he’d apparently been planning to use it in his Christmas cards. From there it a short step to the mass circulation of Desiderata as an inspirational prose poem discovered in an old (by American standards) church in Baltimore.
Reading Desiderata again – and putting out of my mind the ghastly spoken word recordings and the calligraphic posters – what strikes me is how much sound wisdom there is in it. Yes, it’s corny and hokey, it strains after the vatic tone (how did anyone convince themselves this was written in the 17th century?) and it seems at least partly tailored to the spiritual needs of a small-town American businessman – but pick the bones out of it and the message is pretty sound, isn’t it? Just try not to hear Les Crane in your head when you read it…
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Many versions of Desiderata swap ‘Be cheerful’ for ‘Be careful’, perhaps under the impression that ‘Be cheerful’ is restated in ‘Strive to be happy’. But to be cheerful and to be happy are of course very different things.
Drifts in and out of the post-hippie consciousness like a Wagner motif piggybacking Tolkien hand in hand with Denis Healey’s eyebrows and the death of innocence. Not much sex, no drugs and a little rock and roll superseded by a poem for the carbon neutral mind.
May the farce be with you.
the message is pretty sound, isn’t it?
No, it is not! For starters, the universe is most definitely not unfolding as it should. I have been trying all my life to prove that to anyone who will listen, a puzzlingly shrinking group.
Yes, rather a large claim, that – though it is prefaced by a ‘no doubt’ (which usually means ‘maybe’). Hard to know quite how one could prove the case either way… I think the message is not to worry about it. This appeals to me as a lifelong follower of the Alfred E. Neuman philosophy: ‘What – me worry?’
Speaking of hedged large claims, Desiderata and Alfred E. Neuman may have been the inspiration for Dawkins.
Hoho – yes indeed!
I used to have a copy of the National Lampoon’s “Deteriorata”, of which I remember only “be grateful that your dog is getting enough cheese.”
It’s funny the things we remember. From the National Lampoon version, I only recall this line: “Rotate your tires.” In the early 1980s, a friend and I attended a wedding. At one point in the ceremony, one of the participants began to recite “Desiderata.” My friend turned to me and whispered: “Rotate your tires.” It required feats of endurance (and red faces) to suppress ourselves.
Deteriorata
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here…..
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!
Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss…..and when!
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE………do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late.
Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for “Ken.”
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
Chorus
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be—
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP!
Reprise
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
It’s a poor man’s If isn’t it?
Pure positivity! Enjoyed Les Crane’s upbeat gospel version of the poem. Think it was on Woman’s Hour the other day there was mention of the fact that young people no longer know what the 10 commandments or the 7 Deadly Sins are, so poems like this are helpful – forget Dawkins and
Count your blessings
instead of your crosses;
Count your gains
instead of your losses.
Count your joys
instead of your woes;
Count your friends
instead of your foes.
Count your courage
instead of your fears;
Count your laughs
instead of your tears.
Count your full years
instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds
instead of your mean.
Count your health
instead of your wealth;
Count on God
instead of yourself.
Nige -thank you for this. I was 11 when the Les Crane version came out so heard it a lot on the radio. I’ve never had it as a poster and my father, bless ‘im taught me to despite it as a piece of ersatz hokum (?!). But you know what? I’m 52 now and had a few experiences and I have to say, it’s not half bad. In fact it’s a very Christian message. yes, it’s hokey and all that, but I don’t care. As a cliff-hanging cradle Catholic, it chimes in a lot with what I’ve been taught (in a good way). I read me George Herbert and the Metaphysicals and all sorts of Western Literature (both capitals), but just occasionally, this peeps through from my subconscious. The first line is more relevant today thatn it’s ever been.
Thanks Jane – I’m sure you’re right that there’s something very sound in it, despite the hokiness…