Hooray, it’s Eurovision Song Contest time again! Frank enthuses about the Irish and Montenegrin entries…
Watching the first Eurovision Song Contest semi-final earlier this week, I was pleased to learn that the Irish contestant was accompanied to Malmö for the occasion by his priest.
I learned other things, too, chief among them being that Montenegrin rappers dressed in spacesuits should, by law, be the only people allowed to rap. But let that pass.
I applauded the young Irish crooner for taking his priest with him. It struck me that, just as Gloria Steinem in 1993 instituted “Take Your Daughter To Work Day”, so “Take Your Priest To The Eurovision Song Contest” could be extended to “Take Your Priest To Work Day”. After all, few of us are likely to get the opportunity to perform at Eurovision.
The advantages of taking your priest to work are legion, and also blindingly obvious, so I will not bother to enumerate them. Suffice to say that priests are surprisingly adept at photocopying, refilling the paper cup dispenser, and celebrating mass. Everybody wins.
Unlike Eurovision, where there can be only one winner. My fervent hope is that the Montenegrin rappers in spacesuits come out on top. While waiting for the result, however, one question is playing on my mind. Who, exactly, are those teeming throngs in the live audience, cheering and waving national flags? I ask because I have never, ever met anybody who has attended the Eurovision Song Contest, nor anybody who knows anybody who has. And I am willing to bet that no Dabbleristas know of such a person either. It is a pretty conundrum, to be sure.