A Word on Umbrellas…

There’s one word for corporate umbrellas – naff, but if you’re caught in a downpour, I suppose it’s preferable to have one than get wet. Last week I spotted an umbrella emblazoned with the words  ‘Obesity Matters,’ which seemed curiously out of place at Henley Royal Regatta.

If you were commissioned to design an umbrella with a message, what would you choose to say – and for what occasion?

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About Author Profile: Susan Muncey

Trend consultant Susan Muncey, is Editor of Visuology Magazine. In 2008, she founded online curiosity shop, ShopCurious.com. She writes on style and trends for several blogs, including Visuology.com, ShopCuriousMag.com and The Dabbler. She previously owned cult West London boutique, Fashion Gallery, one of the first concept stores in the world. Susan graduated in geography from Cambridge University and is also an Associate Member of the CFA Institute. She lives in London with her husband.

15 thoughts on “A Word on Umbrellas…

  1. Worm
    July 7, 2012 at 10:26

    I would commission ones saying “watch out for my eyes you idiot!” as I seem to be at the exact height that invites people to plunge their sharply pointed umbrella spokes straight into my face with nary a second glance

  2. johngjobling@googlemail.com'
    July 7, 2012 at 10:31

    The National Trust do a neat little green brolly, however they are not really a corporation, yet.

    The occasion? navigating thro’ the Greenpeace chuggers, what’s written on the gamp?….Public health warning, this umbrella is polonium tipped and the last sentence they read before it is plunged into their innards. Or more specifically the one in Edinburgh yesterday who, after being called a faschist’s representative wished me a ‘have a sunny day’

    The most prolific brolly wallys?…golfers.

  3. mcrean@snowpetrel.net'
    July 7, 2012 at 11:33

    I imagine that Billy Bunter would have had a large umbrella and where better to sport it than Henley which I associate with all the best ways of getting fat – delicious cakes, clotted cream, summer puddings, choice meringues. Big umbrellas don’t really go with the lentil squad and their book of mung. I wonder whether, say, Asprey offer a golfing umbrella whose large wooden handle is hollowed out to serve as a hip flask.

    Alas, back in the ordinary world of cheap Chinese imports which fall apart at the first shower, well I’m not a fan of big umbrellas. Their logos hint at someone who has more money than sense but since the logos are usually those of banks and finance companies, chances are it’s your own money that’s about to poke you in the eye.

  4. george.jansen55@gmail.com'
    July 7, 2012 at 12:19

    Around the office there is large umbrella bearing the name of a computer reseller–the umbrella in much better shape than the company, which went out of business at least a dozen years ago.

    Per Malty, something like “Don’t Tread on Me” would work. The Bulgarian use of heavy-metal poisoning (wasn’t it cadmium or platinum?) is a latecomer here. Early on in The Charterhouse of Parma a retired general is murdered by thugs wielding sharpened umbrellas. And I find in Dennis Mack Smith’s Mussolini that the legislator Giovanni Amendola damaged the Fascist self-esteem by using his umbrella to drive off five fascist militiamen who had attacked him in the street.

    I’d settle for “Not to Be Used in Case of Snow”. I grew up in places snowier than Washington, D.C., and find it annoying to have to dodge umbrellas during otherwise enjoyable snowstorms.

  5. info@shopcurious.com'
    July 7, 2012 at 18:37

    Worm, someone caught an umbrella spike/spoke? on the shoulder of my favourite vintage lace cardigan the other day – I wasn’t best pleased. And I say ricin is twice as nicinit on an umbrella, malty. As for Asprey, Mark, how about a new range of obeso-lux curiosities – to include a Russian sable umbrella/seat cum Swarovski crystal cake stand, with rose gold armagnac straw? George – I agree, snow is to be enjoyed… and eaten (without calorific intake).

  6. Worm
    July 7, 2012 at 19:02

    I think I’d get a big umbrella saying “I don’t like golf, I just wanted a big umbrella” on it

  7. mcrean@snowpetrel.net'
    July 7, 2012 at 19:47

    Yes, a cake stand whose crystal is designed to show off a large mound of “icing sugar” and one can see the point of the straws! One can almost see Goldfinger saying “Would you care to join us, Mr Bond?”Alas, I think my umbrella would probably say “Fat Chance”.

  8. Gaw
    July 8, 2012 at 09:24

    ‘Obesity Matters’ – perhaps the umbrella is that big in order to cover the circumference of its holder?

    BTW I read it first as ‘obesity matter’, evoking images of yellowish and gloopy deposits of fat.

    • nigelgs@btinternet.com'
      August 1, 2012 at 21:49

      For the record, that is my daughter’s umbrella. I have no idea where she got it from and she is anything but a size to match the slogan! The umbrellas are essential to prevent the Pimms getting watered down in the showers.

  9. john.hh43@googlemail.com'
    John Halliwell
    July 8, 2012 at 11:38

    I was dismayed at that picture (or did I dream it?) of a congregation sat in a country church huddled under large umbrellas each bearing the message ‘Who nicked our lead?’

  10. nigeandrew@gmail.com'
    July 9, 2012 at 13:56

    Me I’m proudly wielding a big Barclays Commercial Bank umbrella (borrowed from the surplus umbrellas that pile up at work). No one has punched me yet, but I’ll keep you posted…

  11. andrewnixon@blueyonder.co.uk'
    July 9, 2012 at 22:24

    I hate brollies, people always seem to hold them at my eye-poking level. But if we brought out a Dabbler one in purple and green do you think there’d be a market for it?

  12. info@shopcurious.com'
    July 9, 2012 at 23:11

    PS Any suggestions for Olympic umbrella slogans?

  13. nigeandrew@gmail.com'
    July 10, 2012 at 13:13

    Faster, Higher, Wetter?

Comments are closed.