“There hath been in London … for these many years together, a knot of Scottish bankers, collybists, or coin-coursers, of traffickers in merchandise to and again, and of men of other professions, who by hook and crook, fas et nefas, slight and might, all being as fish their net could catch, having feathered their nests to some purpose, look so idolatrously upon their Dagon of wealth, and so closely, like the earth’s dull centre, hug all unto themselves, that for no respect of virtue, honour, kindred, patriotism, or whatever else, be it never so recommendable, will they depart from so much as a single penny … which churlish and tenacious humour hath made many … imagine their compatriots [i.e. the Scots] infected with the same leprosy of a wretched peevishness, whereof those quodomodocunquizing cluster fists and rapacious varlets have given of late such … proofs.

So suck on that, you quodomodocunquizing cluster fists!

His other projects included the promotion of a ‘universal language’ that he named Logopandecteision:

My Universal Language is a most exquisite jewel. It hath eleven genders, seven moods, four voices, ten cases, besides the nominative, and twelve parts of speech; every word signifieth as well backwards as forwards; and it is so compact of style that a single syllable will express the year, month, day, hour and partition of the hour.