Whether you celebrate it or not, Valentine’s Day is becoming more commercial every year. And it seems to be getting weirder too. With just a few days to go, here are some gruesome gift ideas that will send a shudder down your spine…
First up, from Ireland, a cojoined twins pin cushion heart – hang it on your wall and perform a Valentine voodoo ritual.
Across the other side of the world, according to the BBC, the Chinese say ‘I love you’ with the gift of cosmetic surgery…
But what could be more perfect than a bouquet of condom roses for your Valentine lover?
From the USA, the Living Condom Rose TM is “a 12 inch long stemmed Red Rose that is fashioned from 2 FDA approved latex condoms. A gift card is attached to each rose listing the (800) AIDS & STD Hot line numbers.” Alternatively, here are instructions to make your own DIY condom roses.
If that doesn’t appeal, the London Dungeon will be giving out anatomically correct heart cupcakes to all couples visiting on Valentine’s Day.
Meanwhile, Japanese girls will be fighting over chocolate bugs for their men…
Finally, if you’re in any doubt, Trendhunter has 61 bizarre ways to say ‘I love you‘. Though, of course, you can always visit ShopCurious for some rather more retroprogressive options.
From Viz’s Top Tips this week:
MEN. Make it a Valentine’s Day she’ll always remember by simply forgetting it.
Talking of anatomically correct cupcakes, on the not-at-all-cheap-and-trashy-Channel-4-programme RudeTube this week an American lady was making some that would make Mr Slang blush.
Why haven’t we rebelled against Valentine’s yet? Single people find it depressing and couples find it a chore. Don’t they? Or am I in trouble for that?