Fun With Seeds!

Key's Cupboard

This week, a common problem solved!…

You know that feeling you get sometimes, when you wake from a fitful sleep and the first thing that pops into your head is “I really must obtain a portrait of ex-Vice President Spiro Agnew, one grown from wheat or maize or some other crop”? It is not always easy to satisfy such a longing, although of course it may not be a longing or a yearning, it may simply be a flash in the pan whim, one which will evaporate once you get out of bed and plunge your head into ice cold water. Indeed, by the time you sit down to your breakfast sausages, the very idea may seem absurd, and you can get on with your day untroubled by such thoughts. For some though, there can be a sense of desperation, an absolute need that must be assuaged. This can be a very debilitating condition.

Luckily, help is at hand, if one is able to divert one’s desires from the ex-Vice President to his boss, President Richard Milhous Nixon. All one need do is copy the technique used by Lillian Colton, who won the Blue Ribbon Best In Show at the 1969 Minnesota State Fair with her portrait of Tricky Dicky grown from seeds of timothy, brome grass, canola, and birdsfoot trefoil. How simple is that?

Frank Key will be giving a rare public performance in London next month. Book your tickets for An Evening Of Lopsided Prose And Lugubrious Music on Friday 18 November here.
Members of the League of Dabblers (join here) go free – to request your ticket email editorial@thedabbler.co.uk and join in the fun!
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About Author Profile: Frank Key

Frank Key is a London-based writer, blogger and broadcaster best known for his Hooting Yard blog, short-story collections and his long-running radio series Hooting Yard on the Air, which has been broadcast weekly on Resonance FM since April 2004. By Aerostat to Hooting Yard - A Frank Key Reader, an ideal introduction to his fiction, is published for Kindle by Dabbler Editions. Mr Key's Shorter Potted Brief, Brief Lives was published in October 2015 by Constable and is available to buy online and in all good bookshops.

3 thoughts on “Fun With Seeds!

  1. info@shopcurious.com'
    October 21, 2011 at 11:39

    Very curious, Frank – you don’t suppose they’ll do on of Gaddafi, perhaps a decoupage of pages from The Green Book layered with spent cartridges, sand, dried blood and the odd golden gun…

    ooh, I’ve just opened the link to your ‘must see’ performance and love the voice over – what a great idea for the Dabbler too? And Brit, are you by any chance related to the ‘seedy’ President?

    • andrewnixon@blueyonder.co.uk'
      October 21, 2011 at 13:22

      Only spiritually.

  2. johngjobling@googlemail.com'
    malty
    October 21, 2011 at 13:16

    How bizarre, how bizarre, seeds..seeds of destruction, geddit, knew a bloke, named his company TOLAG, to oaks little acorns grow, unfortunately HMRC felled it in lieu of. He was not amused when I suggested that he take some gardening leave.
    Nor was the taxman, being deeply out of pocket and all.

    Old Spiro’s problem was looking like a dodgy Greek, in mitigation, they all look dodgy, the Greeks

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