Perfect World?

The unfortunately named Harry Crook established Kleeneze in 1923. It was the era of door to door sales: the genuine Encyclopedia Britannica vendor, the original man from the Pru. They were all shiny suits and polished briefcases. If you heard them walking up the garden path, there were evasion tactics. Radios were turned off, giggles suppressed.

Smooth talking and slickly turned out, they knew everyone in the street. They talked facts and figures, or pounds shillings and pence – and they would invariably share a joke. What they lacked in creativity was provided by the marketing team back at the office. Think Reggie Perrin demarcating sales regions (somewhere in the middle of the North Sea) with Joan’s handbag.

Funny how we’re never quite sure whether to believe marketing-speak. It’s charming, manipulative and Machiavellian. Paul Kaye as Bob Slay and Michael Cochrane as the Marketing Director were brilliant in the BBC’s Perfect World. Those in the know will recall Vaughan the prawn, Bob-aka-Tarquin’s terrible accident, the hilarious chateaubriand and the excrucitating charity auction. I can’t understand why they haven’t repeated this…

I suppose we’ve moved on to a PC world of SEO campaigns, spam emails, loyalty cards and cold calling (but forget the polished local accent and feigned-friendly approach, it’s straight for the jugular now). If we’re unlucky, we may be relentlessly targeted by alien-sounding, automated sales messages – at worst,  I’ve received at least fifty in one day. I hope we don’t have too long to wait before robots develop a sense of humour.

Share This Post

About Author Profile: Susan Muncey

Trend consultant Susan Muncey, is Editor of Visuology Magazine. In 2008, she founded online curiosity shop, ShopCurious.com. She writes on style and trends for several blogs, including Visuology.com, ShopCuriousMag.com and The Dabbler. She previously owned cult West London boutique, Fashion Gallery, one of the first concept stores in the world. Susan graduated in geography from Cambridge University and is also an Associate Member of the CFA Institute. She lives in London with her husband.

3 thoughts on “Perfect World?

  1. Worm
    September 10, 2011 at 11:21

    I’ve never even heard of the perfect world! Which is remiss considering I’m a marketeer. The day I have to organise an automated robot cold call is the day I quit!

  2. johngjobling@googlemail.com'
    malty
    September 10, 2011 at 11:23

    Marketing is indeed a fertile hunting ground for the comic writers and the Perfect World as you say Susan, brilliant. The entertainment industries portrayal of the salesperson is interesting, from The 39 Steps ‘pair on the train north’ brassiere and corset salesmen, slightly seedy, slightly educated, world weary ex RAF types with ‘in trade’ personalties through to the Dads Army Private Walker, the barrow boy salesman, very seedy, totally uneducated, world weary ex Dagenham estate boy. The misconceptions accumulate.
    The marketing world, Raison d’être…meet targets, increase turnover, pat my back please boss, is both brilliant and stupid, in equal amounts, the dingo’s kidney of all marketing people had to be John Bloom, the Rolls Razor man, himself an excellent salesman he attained six ladder rungs more than his ability. A friend, an out of work actor was taken on board by Bloom, the company now flogging washing machines as well as razors door to door, was on a roll. The terms of employment were somewhat bizarre, he was given a van, a weeks supply of fags and told “no wages, commission only” sudden death play off time. The thought that, we would today, buy a washing machine at the door step is a novel one, back then, couldn’t make ’em fast enough.
    All good things come to an end and in Blooms case, a sticky one, good at selling he was pants at book fiddling or creative accountancy as banks and governments call it as they practice it. The company, deep sixed by the creditors ended up in the clutches of the insolvency practitioners, went the way of many others, now a dim and distant memory.
    The world of marketings finest hour, the one where punters will pay twice as much as the stuff is worth, thinking it puts them in that special place, only ever comprehensively achieved by two people, Wendelin Wiedeking and Steve Jobs. Stylish products, reasonably trouble free and daylight robbery prices. Jobs and Wendelin, the acceptable face of Arthur Dalyism.
    It must be said however that, as one of the companies recently had more cash in the bank than the American government and the other, in recent years, bought the VAG group, vastly larger than itself, for access to the technology, both companies marketing clout is accompanied by some seriously heavyweight business acumen.

  3. info@shopcurious.com'
    September 10, 2011 at 13:59

    Worm, you can get series 1 and 2 together on a DVD. Highly recommend it – side-splitting stuff.

    Malty, I think you should have written this post! Had not heard of John Bloom until your mention – what a fascinating story, have just read more on the net. If a chap knocked on the door trying to sell a washing machine these days you’d think he was bonkers – or a con man…

Comments are closed.