As the civil war in Libya continues to unfold, Dabbler readers will no doubt wish to pontificate about the kerfuffle in pubs and at dinner parties without making fools of themselves. To this end, I have compiled a helpful list of Libyan proverbs which can be deployed in conversation, rendering your less well-informed interlocutors speechless. By choosing the perfect moment to blabber a Libyan proverb, you will be the cynosure of all eyes, and may then safely retire from the fray, as the company exchange wondering looks and someone gasps “Gosh! I bet they read The Dabbler!”
We begin with perhaps the most useful of all Libyan proverbs:
All that is round is not a cake
It’s so easy, isn’t it, to assume, when you see something round, that it is a cake? If that were truly the case, you would be in the Land o’ Cakes, which as we know is Scotland. Imagine what a nitwit you would appear if, in the middle of a discussion about the Libyan crisis, you got that fair desert realm confused with the bonny land of tartan and thistle and argumentative drunks. But by keeping in mind this piece of ancient Libyan wisdom, you can avoid such a terrible social gaffe.
The flute player dies with his finger shaking
Like all the best proverbs, Libyan or otherwise, this expresses with brevity and precision an unassailable truth. Who among us can claim to have watched the death of a flautist and not seen that telltale shaking finger? Interestingly, I am told that Jethro Tull maestro Ian Anderson has already made provision that, when his death-rattle is imminent, his hands be fitted with mittens, so none shall see the shake.
He who searches for pearls should not sleep
Pearls are found in oysters. Oysters are found in the sea. Thus, logically, pearls are found in the sea, so that is where you need to go if you are searching for them. Generally speaking, falling asleep when submerged is not recommended, no matter how watertight your skindiving gear. Once again a Libyan proverb teaches us great wisdom, which we might otherwise overlook.
They sell the monkey and laugh at the buyer
I bought a monkey once, from a monkey-stall at a monkey-market, and I wondered why, as soon as I handed over the purchase price in cash, the fellow who sold me the monkey began shaking with laughter, slapping his thighs and wheezing and going purple in the face. Now I know. The monkey, by the way, was called Ian. I taught it to play the flute.
The person with no dignity eats his dinner twice
Gnomic. That is quite enough Libyan proverbs for the time being.
These Libyans sound like a rum bunch
Or as the rebs might say “one pickup doth not an armoured brigade make”